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Taffy Was a Mac'er Taffy Was a Gamer Taffy Owned a Store Taffy's Hardware Taffy's WiFi Taffy Had a Linux Box Taffy on the LAN Holiday Taffy Taffy Was a Programmer Taffy Ran a Cluster Taffy's iPod Taffy's Laptop Taffy's Printer Multi-Vendor Platforms! Taffy Had a Virus Taffy's Apps Taffy's Online Auctions About Taffy

Taffy on the LAN

 Taffy was a hacker, Taffy roamed the hall
Taffy crashed my network by deleting Protocol
I knew that Taffy used TCP/IP
I cleared his static address, now the Net he'll never see.
ldw
Taffy was a hacker, Taffy was a sham
He crashed my POP3 server with a ton of spam
I went to Taffy's house, not to be outdone
I took his NT 4.0 way back to 3.1
ldw
Taffy was a hacker, roaming in the hall
His cheesy client-server apps made our network crawl
I went to Taffy's house, tired of his jive
I rearranged his GUI with Powerbuilder 5
ldw
Taffy was a hacker, a sorry little shlub
He misconfigured everything on our network's hub
I went to Taffy's house, taking him to task
Messing up his Intranet with a subnet mask
ldw
Taffy was a hacker, and SNA he knew
Kept me out of the mainframe by deleting my LU
I went to Taffy's house, I had no time to lose
His brand new Thinkpad now is set to permanently snooze.
ldw
Taffy was a hacker, Taffy made me cry
Taffy made a firewall rule to SMTP deny
I went to Taffy's place, set all ports open, Yes!
I'll have me lots and lots of fun with that IP address!
ldw
Taffy was a hacker, Taffy was a trog
Taffy backed up all our files but didn't keep a log.
I went to Taffy's desk where I showed no restraint
I striped his RAIDed hard drives with red and purple paint.
dmw
Taffy was a hacker, the NetAdmin from hell
Taffy changed our passwords and left for Cozumel.
We all went to Taffy's house where we did something cruddy
We took a backhoe and severed all his FDDI.
dmw
Taffy was a hacker; a robot he employed
The robot came to my house; my server it destroyed
I went to Taffy's house, and found his local router
I re-programmed the robot to grind it into powder.
spx
Taffy was a hacker, Taffy got my goat
He ruined replication with my Lotus Notes
I went to Taffy's house and barged on through the door
IE One-dot-zero replaced his Netscape 4.
ldw
Taffy was a hacker with fiber optics, brash.
Taffy's monster emails made my dialup crash.
I went to Taffy's house (I shouldn't stoop this low.)
Replaced his SD RAM chips with 4 Meg of EDO.
dmw
Taffy was a hacker with fast T-1, you bet!
Taffy's 9-gig JPEGs brought down the internet.
I sneaked over to his house while Taffy watched skinflicks
This gray crossover cable will halt his nasty tricks.
dmw

This work © 2003, by The Webb Family, edited by dotti webb.
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